Revision as of 23:32, 1 January 2026

How to Be Kind

I'm Kyle Smith. I've been a hospice chaplain for fifteen years.

I sit with people who are dying. Not sometimes—every day. I hold hands that are cold and thin. I listen to final words. I witness the last breaths. And I've learned more about kindness in hospice rooms than I ever learned in seminary.

Here's what death teaches you about kindness: it's not about grand gestures. It's about presence. It's about showing up when showing up is hard. It's about the small moment of connection that says, "You matter. You're not alone."

The families I work with—they remember the nurse who brought an extra blanket without being asked. The aide who took time to brush their mother's hair. The doctor who sat down instead of standing. The kindnesses that cost almost nothing but meant everything.

I write about kindness because I've seen what happens without it. And I've seen what happens with it. The difference is everything.

Where to Start

If kindness feels hard right now:

When You Have Nothing Left to Give — Compassion fatigue is real.
Kindness When You're Struggling — You can't pour from empty.
Small Acts, Big Impact — Start where you are.

If you want to be kinder:

The Practice of Presence — Just being there. It's enough.
Listening as Kindness — Rarer than you think.
Kindness to Strangers — The ones you'll never see again.

If you're dealing with difficult people:

Kindness With Boundaries — They're not opposites.
When Kindness Isn't Reciprocated — Do it anyway? Or walk away?
The Kindness of Honesty — Sometimes the kindest thing is the hardest.

If you want to understand compassion:

Why Kindness Matters — Beyond "being nice."
The Ripple Effect — Kindness spreads. Really.
Self-Kindness — The foundation for everything else.

A Note on This Wiki

I've cried more in the last fifteen years than I did in the forty before them. I've held people as they died. I've sat with families in the worst moments of their lives. And somehow, instead of burning out, I've found meaning.

What I've learned is that kindness isn't about feeling good. It's about acting good—even when you feel terrible. It's about choosing, in the small moments, to see the person in front of you as worthy of your attention.

This wiki won't teach you to be a saint. I'm not one. But it might help you be a little kinder. And in my experience, a little kindness goes a very long way.

— Kyle Smith, holding space

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-= Being Kind =
+<span class="wikivoice-config" data-narrator="Kyle Smith"></span>
+= How to Be Kind =
-Welcome, dear friend. Whether you’re here because you’ve had a tough day, want to make the world a little brighter, or simply need a gentle reminder that kindness is a practice (not perfection)—you’ve found your home. This wiki is a warm, growing space for anyone who wants to weave kindness into the fabric of daily life. No grand gestures required. Just small, real moments that connect us. We’re all learning together, one kind word, one patient pause, one open heart at a time.
+I'm Kyle Smith. I've been a hospice chaplain for fifteen years.
-== Start Where You Are: Tiny Acts, Big Heart ==
+I sit with people who are dying. Not sometimes—every day. I hold hands that are cold and thin. I listen to final words. I witness the last breaths. And I've learned more about kindness in hospice rooms than I ever learned in seminary.
-You don’t need a special occasion to be kind. Try this today:
-- Hold the door for someone *without* expecting thanks.
-- Send a text to a friend saying, “I was thinking of you.”
-- Leave a kind note for a coworker on their desk.
-These aren’t just “nice”—they’re quiet revolutions. [[Small Acts, Big Impact]] shows how these moments build a kinder world, one step at a time.
-== Listen Like You Mean It: The Deepest Kindness ==
+Here's what death teaches you about kindness: it's not about grand gestures. It's about presence. It's about showing up when showing up is hard. It's about the small moment of connection that says, "You matter. You're not alone."
-Kindness isn’t always about speaking—it’s about *hearing*. When someone shares something hard, put your phone away. Say, “I’m here.” No advice, no fixing. Just presence. [[Listening with Love]] shares how this simple shift can heal more than you know. (And yes, it’s okay to be awkward at first. We all are.)
-== Be Kind to Your Own Heart: You’re Not Broken ==
+The families I work with—they remember the nurse who brought an extra blanket without being asked. The aide who took time to brush their mother's hair. The doctor who sat down instead of standing. The kindnesses that cost almost nothing but meant everything.
-Kindness starts within. If you’ve ever been harsh with yourself for a mistake, try this:
-> *“What would I say to a dear friend who felt this way?”*
-Then say it to yourself. [[Self-Kindness for Beginners]] offers gentle exercises to soften your inner critic. Remember: You’re allowed to rest, to stumble, to be human. That’s where real kindness grows.
-== Share the Ripple: When Kindness Becomes Contagious ==
+I write about kindness because I've seen what happens without it. And I've seen what happens with it. The difference is everything.
-One kind act can spark a chain reaction. After someone helped you, pay it forward—without expecting anything back. Maybe it’s buying coffee for the person behind you, or writing a thank-you note to a teacher. [[Kindness Chains]] shows how these ripples grow. You might just inspire someone to be kinder to *themselves* too.
----
+== Where to Start ==
-This wiki is yours to shape. Add your own story, your favorite small kindness, or a moment you were unexpectedly shown grace. We’re all in this together—no perfection, just practice.
+'''If kindness feels hard right now:'''
+* [[When You Have Nothing Left to Give]] — Compassion fatigue is real.
+* [[Kindness When You're Struggling]] — You can't pour from empty.
+* [[Small Acts, Big Impact]] — Start where you are.
-*“Kindness is the language the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”*
+'''If you want to be kinder:'''
-—Mark Twain
+* [[The Practice of Presence]] — Just being there. It's enough.
+* [[Listening as Kindness]] — Rarer than you think.
+* [[Kindness to Strangers]] — The ones you'll never see again.
-So take a breath. Start small. Be kind to yourself *first*. Then, let your kindness ripple out. We’ll be right here, cheering you on.
+'''If you're dealing with difficult people:'''
+* [[Kindness With Boundaries]] — They're not opposites.
+* [[When Kindness Isn't Reciprocated]] — Do it anyway? Or walk away?
+* [[The Kindness of Honesty]] — Sometimes the kindest thing is the hardest.
-*Welcome home.*
+'''If you want to understand compassion:'''
+* [[Why Kindness Matters]] — Beyond "being nice."
+* [[The Ripple Effect]] — Kindness spreads. Really.
+* [[Self-Kindness]] — The foundation for everything else.
+== A Note on This Wiki ==
+I've cried more in the last fifteen years than I did in the forty before them. I've held people as they died. I've sat with families in the worst moments of their lives. And somehow, instead of burning out, I've found meaning.
+What I've learned is that kindness isn't about feeling good. It's about acting good—even when you feel terrible. It's about choosing, in the small moments, to see the person in front of you as worthy of your attention.
+This wiki won't teach you to be a saint. I'm not one. But it might help you be a little kinder. And in my experience, a little kindness goes a very long way.
+''— [[User:Kyle_Smith|Kyle Smith]], holding space''
+[[Category:Main]]